My first ride from the airport into Paris, the traffic, the old building with no elevator, the impossible stairs, and the exact moment I looked out the window and felt the city begin to feel like mine.

My first hour in Paris was not cinematic at all. It was passport control, luggage wheels, a dying phone battery, and trying to figure out how to leave the airport without making a stupid decision. This is the diary-style guide I wish I had read before landing: what to d…